Poorly but still optimistic

I know its been 2 weeks since my last posting, but I’ve really been too ill to focus on it.  My reaction to the 2^nd dose of chemo on 2^nd February was much worse than the first.  I didn’t have an infection and I didn’t have the thudding ache all over my body that I had the first time, but I felt more nauseous and generally unwell for much, much longer.  In fact, I felt so bad that I was contemplating not continuing with doses 3 and 4 – reasoning that I’d rather have a shorter lifespan feeling well than a longer one feeling like sh…..!  By the time of the review meeting at the Christie yesterday, I was feeling a good deal better (although not as well as I’d felt after the first dose), but very breathless, and had decided to ask for a week’s deferral for dose 3 on the grounds that I was not strong enough to withstand it.

I saw a different doctor who was very forthcoming and explained a lot of things about the chemo and the life expectancy - basically - for patients with non-small cell lung cancers who respond to the chemo, life expectancy increases to 2 years (or more with further treatment) so they do recommend continuing.  The X-Ray and blood tests showed no fluid on the lung or infection (possible causes of the breathlessness) and no progression of the cancer.  He thought that I would feel much better by next week (23^rd) and so shouldn’t yet cancel the appointment.  However, if I continue to feel bad by Tuesday, I've to phone the specialist nurse and they will defer the treatment for a week and arrange a CT scan so they can really check the impact of the chemo so far.  I’m happy with that arrangement and in fact do feel a lot better, and a lot less breathless, today.  

Linda was brilliant at the Christie and pushed me in a wheelchair from the treatment centre to the x-ray, then to the cafe to get lunch and then to the afternoon clinic (after the doctor had chance to examine the x-rays and the blood samples (I think she was knackered though). I got a taxi home and slept for an hour and felt a lot better afterwards.

To all those who have sent me e-mails, cards and letters, please accept my apologies for not replying.  Now that I’m feeling so much better, I will get round to it in the next few days, and I will post a blog update next Thursday.